If I ran my career like Trump runs his mouth.
Donald Trump, love him or hate him, he is here to stay. No matter your view, one thing is obvious, we never know what will fly out of his mouth.
The other day I was thinking, what if I ran my business the way he runs his? Would I be successful if I spoke to my clients this way? Undoubtedly I would be thrown over the wall by my customers!
I’m not going to lie, it would be fun to have a National Trump Day! Who wouldn’t love to say whatever they wanted? Sounds fun, don’t ya think?
If graphic designers everywhere were allowed to say things in true Trump fashion, it might sound a little like this…
1. If you ask me to make one more thing pop, I might effing kill you. What the hell does that mean, anyway?
2. If you send me one more MS Word file I am going to throw you over the wall to Mexico.
3. You want me to edit your flattened file? Get your shit and get out.
4. By damned, your right! I would absolutely effing love to do a complete mock-up of the job. It sounds totally reasonable to work for several hours, free, before you hire me.
5. Please do go on about why you deserve a $4k discount on your design work. You’re right, I should give you the entitled bastard discount and charge you only $500. Why would I want to eat, anyway?
6. I am so glad you hired me so you could tell me how to do my effin job! Comic Sans is the perfect font, great choice!
7. What in the hell do you mean you don’t want to pay for white space?
8. You will be so god-damned thrilled, I will totally meet your every expectation, even though you don’t know what you like.
9. I promise I won’t jack you in the face if you want to watch me design your project.
10. I absolutely love when you ask your plumber about his opinion of your logo. Do you really think the bastard went to design school?
11. We are absolutely on the same page, I would love to give you a discount. I should pay for a missed deadline due to files you fucking neglected to send me.
12. I would love to do your next book design project for free. I was thinking, maybe you could wire my house?
13. You’re right, I am totally down with going to prison with you. I totally think we should give zero fucks and steal someone’s photos. They won’t notice!
14. You’re right, I don’t know how the project looks so uncreative, you told me everything to do! I really jacked this project up, didn’t I?
15. Wow factor? I will give you the wow factor when I shove my foot up your ass!
Disclaimer: No clients were harmed in the writing of this blog post.
Humor is just that, truly we love our clients and are fortunate to have wonderful working relationships with all of you. I have continued friendships with each, and every one of my clients.
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